When I was 19, I moved back home after an abusive relationship. While I’d been away, my parents adopted a feral cat they’d named Bianca. Bianca (who soon became known as Dubbsey) had taken residence in my old room because no one else had been living in there while I’d been gone and she was able to hide in there. So now I was back, I had a new fighty, bitey roommate (I didn’t have to keep her in my room, but of course I wanted to).
Although she didn’t trust me for a long time, she slowly started to come out from under the bed. Usually she’d come out, see me, hiss, attack me, then hide again. But, over time, she’d stop attacking me, then stop hissing, then sort of sit with me – slowly getting closer over the months.
I didn’t really realise at the time, but we were actually helping each other recover from our past trauma together.
After about 6 months she’d sit on my lap, and one day she started purring. She’d never purred before!
From there, she continued to become happier and started acting much more like a ‘normal’ cat. She was officially a cuddling, loving, purring mummy’s girl. Until I met my husband and she decided she liked him more lol. But she still loved me plenty, so we were a happy little family, which grew a lot as we adopted many other animal family members. But she was always the first child. Our eldest fur-daughter. Our little fluffy white bundle of joy.
15 years later, today, we said our last goodbye to her in her current physical form (I believe the soul remains). We’re both devastated and heartbroken but we have a lot of beautiful memories to look back on. She had a long, happy life, and she was a true blessing in our lives.
Our darling Dubbsey, the cat who healed me, and saved my life. I love you. We both love you. We will miss you forever. Thank you for leaving your pawprints on our hearts. While the pain is indescribable right now, we only feel it so strongly because we love you so deeply. So that makes it all worthwhile, and we wouldn’t change that for anything.
We love you, our beautiful Dubbs. Forever and always xo